March 20 Podcast: Ingrained Self-Pity-Righteousness-Serving

The 3rd Lent Sunday: Psalm 63:1-8 Luke 13:1-9

Key Verse: “For you have been my help, and in the shadow of your wings I sing for joy.” Psalm 63:7

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Hello, This is Jade.

Welcome to Yi.kigai

A space for all to explore the intersection between faith and daily life

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Lenten Blessings. It is the 3rd Sunday of Lent.

“Teacher Jade, come here!” Teacher Nicole half-whispered and waved at me. It was about 1:20 p.m., around the time when most students woke up from their naps at the bilingual kindergarten. I was on my way to teach one of the classes. I walked to her and asked, “What happened?” She raised her eyebrows at my daughter who was three at the time and who had just woken up from her nap. Teacher Nicole said, “There was an accident, and her sleeping bag got wet.” I nodded my head and said, “Ahh, I see." So, I went inside the classroom and changed my daughter’s clothes, folded her sleeping bag, and asked her, “Are you alright?” She wasn’t fully awake yet but nodded her head. I hugged her, told her to wash her face and hands and get ready for her afternoon classes. On my way out, Teacher Nicole followed me out with a shocked expression on her face. I asked, “What happened to you?” She said, “Wow, you are the first parent that I've seen deal with this situation differently.” I was puzzled and asked, “What do you mean?” She replied, “You know, in most cases, the parents scold their kids or complain that we didn’t do a good job taking care of their kids.” “Ahh, really!” I said.

What Teacher Nicole didn’t know was that I had been working hard to unwire and unlearn the culture of victim blaming in which I was raised. I was taught that if I got sick, it was because I didn’t take care of myself. If I lost my stuff, it was because I was careless. If I got bad grades, it was because I didn’t study hard enough. The list goes on. That was also the way adults commented on social issues, such as those in less fortunate communities or those who had committed crimes. They were where they were because they made the wrong choices. There was always someone or something to blame whenever bad things happened. The notions that people could be fixed or that sin was the cause of calamity were deeply ingrained beliefs in me for many years since I was little. After becoming a Christian, I felt a sense of freedom, free from being judged or criticized when things fell short and went wrong. But, I never fully felt free.

From the story in Luke 13, we see that Jesus wasn’t interested in resolving their misconception on the notion of sin and its effect. When his disciples asked him about the cause of being blind in John 9, Jesus actually clarified that sin had nothing to do with the cause of calamity. Nowadays, with the modern patient-centered technology and medical practice, we have learned that while life can be prolonged and the causes of death can be explained, life can still be uncertain and death can still be unpredictable. Still, people from different faith traditions are making an effort to answer the question, “Why do bad things happen to good people if there is a God?”

Jesus’ only answer is “Repent!” Are we content with his answer?

The biblical Greek word ‘repent - metanoó’ is a call to turn away from our sins and get closer to God as much as we can. While being able to glimpse God’s goodness through the life of Jesus, we may realize that comparing ourselves or competing with others is the fastest way to destroy trust in relationships, and it is the most inhuman way to diminish the dignity of others and the values of their lives.

Earlier I said that after becoming a Christian, I felt a sense of freedom but never fully felt free. For example, when seeing crimes like bullying, stealing, or killing on social media, have you been like me and said or thought something like, “Well, at least I’m not that bad.” Or when seeing beggars, I tend to presume the bad choices that person must have made to end up like this. Whenever such thoughts come to me, I suppress them as soon as I can and say a prayer for myself and for those whose lives have also been saved by God but are lost temporarily. While there is always a sense of guilt mixed with that sense of freedom God has given to me, Psalm 63:7 sustains my faith and gives me a desire to live and proclaim God’s salvation which the world needs the most. It says, “For you have been our help, and in the shadow of your wings we sing for joy.”

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May your coming week be blessed by God’s grace

As together we explore the intersection between faith and daily life

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